Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Scratch the previous entry: I am existing in hell

When I said living I was exagerating, existing would be more accurate and as for the compensation well that has gone. Its official I am in hell. A hell that consists of a day of disorganised chaos, just when I believe I've got the size of what I am dealing with another layer of chaos appears to disrupt that view. It's like peeling an infinitely big onion from within. Each layer I peel back reveals a bigger layer. The nights generally consist of spending time with people that are starting to make me believe I am a misanthropist as I dislike them so much. I am too far from home during the week, when I return home at the weekend the life force is sapped from me to such a great degree that it barely recovers before I am forced to return. Imagine an infinite recurring bungee jump without the adrenaline rush but with all the fear that is my reward at present.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Living In Hell With Compensations

So the last two weeks have been a living hell, not exactly fun but there is one compensation. I think I have found someone that I connect with.

At the moment it is subtle, a smile (beautiful), a knowing look and a strange feeling inside. Plus points, very cute, red hair (a weakness) apparently not married and fairly independent. Minus point, about to move out of the same building to a place ten miles away, yet to get past hello / goodnight. So what to do ?

Friday, June 10, 2005

Perfect Night

How great is this, shitty boring day but capped off and fully compensated for by a visit to the local for a few drinks whilst being entertained by a modest but very talented rock legend.

Sometimes I can't believe how lucky I am and how great such simple things can be.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Death Of A Clown

I've had a strange few weeks, everything is either hectic and seems to happen too quickly with little notice or I am in limbo and nothing happens at all. At the moment I'm in the limbo phase but that can't last much longer.

Even though nothing much is happening I am pleased to say that I have not been sucked into that entertainment vacuum called Big Brother. Big Brother created a precedent that is largely responsible for the epidemic of reality tv shows that fill our tv schedules. Now it should create another precedent and crawl into a corner and kill itself, hoping that the others will follow by example.

Surely there is someone out there that can make entertaining tv that doesn't require talentless nobodies/burnt out has beens/never were beens making an arse of themselves on 'live' tv.

Friday, May 27, 2005

It's been a while

So it seems my audience of two want more. So what can I say ? My pre-occupation has almost disappeared, no doubt it will resurface but for now it is dormant. Funny how someone can behave in a way the you least expect, even when you think you have covered all the angles another one appears. When BT ran the ad campaign "It's good to talk" it obviously didn't reach everyone. Perhaps there was a regional version which had the strap line "It's good to bury your head in the sand".

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Less Is More

I've said too much.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Speeding Out Of Trumpton

Time flies by when you're the driver of a train....etc. When you are not the driver of a train or indeed doing much else, time passes so slowly that it almost appears to be going backwards. I am bored, very bored in fact. I've always tried to establish where my limits and thresholds lie, at times when I've needed to push myself it is useful to know when to back off. I know I can go for 3 days without any sleep but that I will need days to recover afterwards. I know that after working more than 36 hours solid its best not to drive yourself home. Well now I have established a new limit, my boredom threshold. Its a subtle combination of lack of playmates, lack of resources, too much time and too little stimulation. The lack of resources part is not strictly true, it's just that I've pretty much run out of things to do with the ones at my disposal. I even got to the point where doing some exercise is looking attractive, so I must be really bored.