Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Scratch the previous entry: I am existing in hell

When I said living I was exagerating, existing would be more accurate and as for the compensation well that has gone. Its official I am in hell. A hell that consists of a day of disorganised chaos, just when I believe I've got the size of what I am dealing with another layer of chaos appears to disrupt that view. It's like peeling an infinitely big onion from within. Each layer I peel back reveals a bigger layer. The nights generally consist of spending time with people that are starting to make me believe I am a misanthropist as I dislike them so much. I am too far from home during the week, when I return home at the weekend the life force is sapped from me to such a great degree that it barely recovers before I am forced to return. Imagine an infinite recurring bungee jump without the adrenaline rush but with all the fear that is my reward at present.

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